I want to establish a global movement, and I'm 68, so I don't have much time. Here goes. Welcome to my Party.
It's called the Honesty, Competence, Respect, Tolerance, Generosity, Compassion and Fun Party, or UTOPIA for short.
The UTOPIA Platform
Honesty
Don't lie. That's it. Honesty does not preclude story-telling, myth-making, fantasy-spinning or imagination. What it does preclude is telling porkies that you know to be porkies. We all make mistakes. For a long time I swore that meringue was spelt merang. Most of us know that sinking feeling that comes with having told a lie that has not been discovered but that makes us seem more interesting, or the lie that gets us out of trouble, or the lie that we makes us sound nicer than we actually are.
Competence
Joan is not a competent car mechanic. Joan is competent to open the bonnet, scratch his head, and call AAA. Therefore Joan should not work in a garage. If Joan takes his car to a garage, Joan wants the mechanic to be competent. If Joan participates in electing a government, Joan wants the members of that government to be able to do the job. It's not that big of an ask.
Respect
Rebekah is different from Knut. Knut is different from Rebekah. Rebekah knows things Knut does not know, does things Knut cannot do. Rebekah has no more value than Knut, and Knut has no more value than Rebekah, although Knut may be young and beautiful or have a PhD in post-Barthian structuralism and Rebekah may play a mean game of pickleball or understand the difference between torque and horsepower. Good. The world needs Rebekah and it needs Knut.
Tolerance
Jane eats tripe. Most people Jane knows do not. That's fine. Lukà goes to church, irregularly, but he still go. Most people Lukà knows do not. That's fine too. Some people go to synagogue, some people go to mosque, some people take their clothes off and dance naked under the stars at the equinox. That's fine too. If you want to decorate your house in fifty shades of beige, that's up to you. If Steve says it's an historic agreement, and Séamus says it's a historic agreement, that's fine too.
Generosity
Fabienne has an apple. Gerardo doesn't have an apple. Gerardo is hungry and dreaming of something crisp, juicy and low-commitment. Fabienne, give Gerardo your apple. Fabienne's dog has just been put down. Gerardo has just met his three week old grandson for the first time. Gerardo, give Fabienne a hug. Fabienne, share your fail-safe yogurt cake recipe online. Gerardo, show the world your dance moves on TikTok.
Compassion
Sally's mother carer didn't show up this morning and eventually the agency sent one fifty-five minutes later and Sally had to show her the ropes and turned up to the office an hour and a fifteen minutes late to find her boss tight-lipped and her assistant frantically trying to find a file that Sally had mistitled and filed the previous evening in the wrong folder. Sally's son is hanging out with that Marcia, again. Sally's daughter doesn't like her best friend any more, doesn't like any of her friends any more, and has gone on hunger strike. Again. Sally's ex has been seen by Sally's friend. Twice. Sally screams abuse at Plato when he has the temerity to walk behind her car as she is pulling out of a parking space at BG's with a lifetime supply of frozen pizza and paper towels. Plato, try and imagine how Sally is when she doesn't have shit going on all at once, and remember when you were younger and submerged by life.
Fun
Sitting around a fire, indoors or outdoors, and laughing. Seeing a large dog not understanding why it can't get through the gap its friend the dachshund just slipped through. Looking around a table at faces absorbed and alive. Finding that your mum's kitten heels with diamanté bows fit just fine. Watching children run just because they can. Seeing a ball fly in an impossible and impossibly fast arc to the back of the net behind the outstretched fingers of the immense goalie. Holding a small child's hand and laughing with her.
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